"You cannot depend on an alcoholic, so you learn to live for the moments when they are present. You tell yourself you'll leave, but then they do something wonderful that reels you back: host a picnic on the living room floor; find Jesus in a pancake; celebrate the cat's birthday and invite all the other neighbourhood cats for tuna. You use all the good times to paint over the bad, and pretend you can no longer see the grain of wood that she's made of. You watch her wade through sobriety and secretly wish she would drink, because that is when she turns into the person you love; and then you cannot figure out who you hate more: yourself for thinking this or her for reading your mind."
-Jodi Picoult

Indecisive.

Exams ended last Thurs and i'm not looking forward to my results. Fri's outing was awesome.

The crab's were great and all that seafood at better than affordable prices. heh. Lucky us. But the Cendol wasn't great at all. ntg special, and someone said our PM goes all the way to that particular shop in Klang for his cendol. Bad taste is all i can say. =P

Sat saw our SA MPPH. Not even an hour into the hall and we're being repremanded for being noisy, talking, not paying attention to the speaker, being rude. i dont know, you take your pick. Some teacher's are still PMS-y. What more can you expect of Sri Amanians who haven't met in months...naturally pure gossip! Haha. Went for Kung Fu Panda with Esther, Jen Nee, Hazel and Nicole...the only reason i laughed til my stomach ached was because the movie was extremely stupid!! Damn i'm gonna mis Esther and Jen Nee!! Sob. oh btw, i think Aisya is gorgeous now. heheh

Took dad for an early Father's Day dinner to his favourite shop. Lucky for my wallet this happens to be Lucky Loke's or something Fatt's Restaurant behind our house.

Sun was Father's Day, but i spent it shopping with mom. From handbags, to books to ligerie. I loove my mommy!! =D

Mon is vaccuum-my-room day! Boy was it dusty. Started Vanishing Acts.

Tue went to SJ, library was closed(no, i didn't go to study, just return a soon-to-be-overdued book) then HULK-ed with Ling and shared a bloody rip off Nasi Lemak! LMAO!

Wed at Ann's place. Lazed around. Spent the evening in HTAR. Finished Vanishing Acts. Scribbled some sketches for my oil painting...

I think it is a matter of love: the more you love a memory, the stronger and stranger it is.
-Vladimir Nabokov

Do i look like shite to you?.. cos you sure as hell treat me like it.

Everyday i learn something about myself.
Most of the time it's things i don't like... so i'm trying to change that.

Y'day i learnt that i laugh at almost anything. i really don't. Do I? not that it's a bad thing but i don't laugh at everything?!?! that's esther! haha. i love her for that though and i'm gonna miss that. Today i learn that i don't know how to express my anger. I really honestly don't. (Shout? Scream? Cry? or just forgive and forget?) So all my BODs who've seen me blow... that was waay past my tolerance level! lol. i don't think it happened often but i honestly can't remember.

Oh and something else about me?.. I have selective memory.
I choose to remember the good things in life. Which is good, but then i forget how it feels to be stepped on, lied to or hurt... or worse. I absolutely can't remember how it feels to be angry either. I just usually let things pass. And i don't like making an issue out of what i think is a small thing. (suprisingly...everyone else doesn't think it's a small thing.. hmm) Sigh!

When i started this entry i was bloody pissed. Now i js can't be bothered to waste my energy on anger. It's for this reason alone i'm blogging today. I will look back at this entry and remember. I will remember how i feel today. At this ultimate tensile strength...just before my breaking point. heh. phisics! =P If i were a structural material... I'd be plastically deformed...

Someone take the damn load off!!   please.